Chapter 5

 Over the past few days I have been exploring Love and fear and the effects they have on our well-being. Through the board game that I am creating we will learn about emotions, how to recognise them and how to have control over them.

Understanding and reflecting on our emotions means we can improve our emotional wellness therefore increasing our sense of well-being.

Experts say people who are emotionally well have fewer negative emotions and can bounce back from difficulties. This ability is known as resilience, another aspect of well-being that will be explored during the game.

For me the key to having more positive emotions than negative and holding onto those positive feelings for longer is linked to daily practices.

If I spend time in mindfulness I can create a peace and calmness within myself. Taking time to list the things I am grateful for each day helps me feel a sense of positivity.

Ensuring my levels of self esteem do not dip really makes a difference to feelings of anxiety. Through self reflection I am aware that feelings of anxiety arise in me when I have a low level of self worth, when I don't feel good enough. This can mean I experience negative emotions and then impacts negatively on relationships in my life.

Once I recognised this I worked on myself, learning strategies to improve my self esteem, tools to improve self esteem will be weaved into the board game as so many of the children I work with have very low self esteem.

 Positive affirmations and excercise have worked wonders in my life, they help me accept who I am, love myself warts and all, and mean I feel worthy and accepting of any love and kindness I am lucky enough to experience. 

Having good self esteem also creates in me a better level of resilience which means I feel I am strong and independent, able to cope with any of life's upsets should they arise.

Over the Christmas holidays I didn't take much time for self care, I didn't make it to the pool to swim, I didn't practice any yoga and I noticed a dip in my feelings of self esteem this also was partnered with more of a need to get my validation from other people. I recognise this and the slight anxiety that came fluttering back in and so I am back at the pool and speaking positive affirmations to myself.

I feel it is important that I am self aware and have fully explored my own emotions in order for me to create a game that will help the children learn about emotional health.

Reflecting back on gratitude I am very thankful for friends who have been on my life journey with me, with whom I can bare my insecurities and fears and who offer love, acceptance and reassurance.

I am thankful for my children, they give me a reason to always want to do better, to be better.

I am thankful for a lovely dog who is my companion.

I am thankful that I have a Mum and Dad and their partners who support me.

I am thankful for a comfortable, safe home.

I am even thankful for all the tough times, the mistakes I've made that have helped develop, learn and grow.

I am thankful for the wise people who I learn from, colleagues, particularly my head teacher.

I am thankful that I might actually get this game up and running with the support from www.swindonconsultants.co.uk

I am thankful for my relationship with someone special and their lovely children. They have helped me continue to grow, to want to be courageous in not hiding behind defensive walls but bravely loving in a way that makes me vulnerable. It is a little scary but very rewarding. I am glad I decided I was ready to take my heart out of it's safety box!

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves